Nicely, I used to be seduced once more. I went on the Sézane web site, noticed that completely all the pieces on there would virtually undoubtedly make me appear to be a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies after which ordered a load of stuff.
It arrived (after un petit delay), I unwrapped my haul from its très fairly paper and tried all the pieces on. Did I instantly appear to be a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies?
Mais non.
Most likely one thing to do with the truth that I’m not twenty and so my boobs, completely superb although they’re, don’t have the type of lush, rounded fulsomeness that may make a bog-standard cotton henley t-shirt look essentially the most alluring garment ever created.
And in addition to do with the truth that Sézane are merely masters of styling and French-cool clothes presentation to the purpose of near-deception. They may make a binbag look come-hither. How they’ve managed to make their “Brut Attractive” denims look good within the photographs is past me – in actual life they’ve the weirdest form that appears fully at odds with each single a part of the human anatomy.
(You want house on your hips? No can do. However hear: we’ve taken the house that you just wanted in that département and allotted it to the thigh space. And sure, we all know they’re a bit brief within the leg however don’t fear – we’ve added that cloth proper to the highest in an effort to really feel much more uncomfortably encased in stiff, unyielding denim.)
I jest. Sézane make some really very lovely things. It’s simply that – for me no less than – the truth of making an attempt them on is so, so removed from the fantasy I purchase into after I browse the location. As a result of sure, the outsized shirt is attractive however am I actually going to put on it unbuttoned to the navel (from each prime and backside) with no bra beneath? Je thinks not. Sure the cardigans are by some means essentially the most seductive-looking cardigans on earth however am I going to pop to Sainsbury’s with my cardi hanging totally off one shoulder? Or worn again to entrance? Will I have the ability to weigh my bananas on the unfastened objects scales with out shedding my knitwear totally?
It’s like this ongoing shoulder robing development. (Stick with me.) Style folks on-line typically put on their coats thrown over their shoulders, like cloaks, somewhat than placing their arms by way of the sleeves like commonplace problem coat-wearers. This makes almost each single coat they put on look each glorious and extremely dramatic as a result of additional quantity created and the truth that they now have this spectacular square-shouldered silhouette, like a quarterback. You possibly can see why medieval lords flung a cloak on: on the spot gravitas and don’t fuck with me, Badulf vibes.
However there’s an issue with shoulder-robing your coat and it’s this: you can not probably carry out any type of process, even essentially the most menial, with out having your arms correctly poked by way of your sleeves. Should you shoulder gown then your arms successfully change into pinioned to your sides – when you transfer them an excessive amount of, or when you determine in a sudden, irrational second that you just’d prefer to stoop down to select up the telephone you’ve simply dropped or to tie a shoelace in an effort to forestall your self from tripping and breaking your individual neck, the coat will slide off.
What a time to be alive.
Anyway, hats off to Sézane as a result of they’ve completely obtained me. I’m by no means not going to be lured in by photographs of fashions with completely undone Sam McKnight hair trying effortlessly cool and youthful and un petit peu kittenish. Whilst I kind this publish I’ve one other tab open: for his or her new season assortment that has simply dropped at the moment. (Discover it here*.) And there are no less than 5 objects in my basket already that I do know will immediately remodel me into the type of woman who by no means wears thermal leggings, has an inherited residence within the seventh arrondissement and doesn’t need to unzip her denims after lunch.
Right here’s a little video of what I attempted on on this explicit Sézane order – keep tuned for the inevitable subsequent instalment as I’m nothing if not a glutton for punishment… Should you’re studying this by way of e mail subscription then the video might be on the finish of the publish.
I attempted:
Slim Parfait Denims in Gentle Blue, Dimension 12 – £95 here* – contemplating conserving, let me know what you assume!
Max Shirt, Very Gentle Denim, Dimension 8. £95 here* – contemplating conserving as soon as I’ve discovered no less than 3 ways to put on it, not together with “in any other case bare” or “with lace knickers” as a result of they don’t rely as outfits and I’d like all shirtmakers to know this.
Brut Attractive Denims, Indigo, Dimension 10. £95 here* – non, non, non.
Très Cliché tee, small, £50 here* – oui oui oui! Retaining.
Milo T-Shirt, £55 here* – non.
Theodora T-Shirt, £60 here* – non.
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